I am going to be honest and admit that I have struggled with this rule myself. Who vs. whom is abstract to foreigners learning English, and it is even hard for English native speakers. I was once a foreigner, and although I am an American author now, I can still understand why people have a hard time with this rule. Nonetheless, I have mastered this grammatical rule along the years, and I am happy to share my knowledge.
Here is a trick I have learned that helps me figure out how to tell the difference between who vs. whom. If you can replace “who”/“whom” with “he”/“she”, you would put “who.” If you can replace the word “who”/“whom” with “him”/“her”, you would put “whom.”
Example: “He can take her place.” Becomes: “Who can take his place?”
Example “You love her?” Becomes: “You love whom?” or “Whom do you love?”
Example: “He has the paper?” Becomes: “Who has the paper?”
Example: “How often do you go there with her?” Becomes: “How often do you go there with whom?”
Any time you struggle figuring out whether you need who vs. whom, simply switch them with “he”/“she” or “him”/“her”. Depending on the one that fits the sentence, you would have your answer.
If you’ve found this blog helpful, be sure to share it and check out my other blogs on writing tips and more!